I kind of took a few months off the blog, but thought I would try to catch you up.
Since my last post things have changed a little. I have not been quite as strict with my diet as a was initially. I am still trying to avoid the processed foods, sugar, gluten...but I am not eating as much raw veggies and I eat meat daily. I haven't been taking my supplements regularly either. I also stopped eating the Budwig Protocol smoothie a little over a month ago. It was just getting to the point where I was having a really hard time drinking it. It's not that it was horrible, it just wasn't that good, and my body was starting to revolt and needed a change. So, usually for breakfast I have a fried egg with sea salt and pepper, maybe a dash of Tabasco here and there. Lunch for a long time was mainly a salad with raw sunflower seeds and avocado. I finally gave up on dressing...because they just don't taste good without sweetener. For dinner I would try to eat basically with the family, with maybe a few alterations. For example, I might have organic meat while theirs is not, or I use gluten free pasta for my spaghetti and regular whole grain for them.
I am not going to tell you that I haven't cheated...I have. I ate some of the girls Halloween candy, I have had a few frozen pizzas, some Spam, and during Thanksgiving time...I ate rolls, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole...yum. I have by no means been perfect at this, but I still feel that I am eating much better than before and am overall, more healthy.
I am finally back in a healthy weight range after losing 20 pounds!! Yay! I always told my husband that I didn't want to change my diet to lose weight, but changing my diet definitely helped me lose weight. Although I have been exercising as well, I really think all that weight came off due to my diet change. I started exercising with a neighbor while my Mom was here, so she watched the girls. After my Mom left, it was harder to go work out with the neighbor because our kid's were just not cooperating with us. (Sorry Neighbor!) Since my husband was now home, he and I started going to the gym 3x a week. This other gym is just easier to take your kids to because they are just behind a half wall. You can see them; they can see you; you can talk to each other without having to stop the workout. Anyway, I got up to running/jogging a 12 minute mile. I was trying to add on to it but we haven't been in awhile. I hope we can get back in there soon.
My hair is growing back in, and it is growing in curly. For a few months I was using the clippers to keep my hair short because I thought that I was going to be losing it again and didn't want the girls, or me, to get excited about the hair, just to watch it fall out again. Then I thought I might as well just let it grow. I have been letting it grow since, I believe, mid to late August, and it is about 2 inches long. I just got my first haircut, which was really just a shape up to help it look more even and lay nicer. I still can't believe it is curly...it is kind of funny.
I am finally scheduled to get another PET scan, so I would really appreciate a few extra prayers. My PET scan is on the morning of Monday, the 10th. I, of course, won't get the results until later that week.
While I pray for, and still would like you all to pray for, complete healing; I just want you to pray that God's will be done. I would love for Him to show His power and awesomeness through ridding me of my cancer! I would love to tell people that only God saved me from this cancer! But I guess I should already be shouting and telling people how God has already saved me...and I am not very good at that. GOD SAVED ME!!! He sent His precious son, Jesus, to die on the cross for MY SINS! Because of this great gift, I have eternal life. He has already saved my eternal life, and that is all that really matters. I only pray that He will allow me to continue this life to be a better witness for Him, and a witness to my daughters...to my friends and family, who don't know Jesus. What kind of friend am I really, if I don't share the Truth!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
My New Diet
My flax seed oil came in Thursday, the23rd, and since then I have been having my smoothie, based on the Budwig Protocol, for breakfast.
This is how I make it: 2/3 cup organic cottage cheese; 6 Tbsp. flax seed oil--Blend this together with my immersion blender and let set 5 min. Then I add some berries and water; blend and drink.
This is really filling, so I don't really eat lunch, just a snack in the afternoon, dinner, and sometimes a snack before bed. The cottage cheese is the only dairy in my diet and according to my reading it loses its dairy properties when combined with the oil. Dr. Budwig used this, along with other things, to treat cancer patients for years.
The rest of my diet is mostly raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts. I have tried different things like;
I tried making a green smoothie with kale and other veggies one of the first days. My smoothie maker didn't blend it very well...and it was disgusting. Thick and ...uchk!! It made me gag...I drank it...but gagging. Later I read somewhere about making sure you don't use the stalks of the kale, so maybe that was why but...not going to do that one again.
I have juiced different things for a snack or just to drink. Carrot/Apple juice is really good. I even juiced kale, cucumber, and carrot and it was OK. But yesterday...mmmm!...I juiced oranges and added a little almond milk....it was delicious! Juicing the oranges makes the juice all frothy! Yummy!
I have also tried out a few raw vegan recipes so I don't have to eat salad every night. I made these cabbage rolls that were good and I will definitely have again. I also tried raw spaghetti (zucchini instead of noodles) that was OK. But I have definitely had a lot of salads. And I don't like raw collard greens...it is like trying to eat a houseplant! I have tried a couple of dressing recipes...but I don't really care for either of them. I need to find a good fake Ranch recipe.
I have also had some cooked meals. I had beans, cooked spinach, and last night I made some stew with lentils and cabbage.
I also just snack on nuts, veggies, or fruit whenever I am hungry. Last night I ate half an avocado.
I am looking forward to trying some new recipes for both my cooked and raw meals.
I am losing weight and really feeling much better. I don't have the upset stomach problems that I had with my old diet and my back pain, which was causing me quite a bit of pain two weeks ago, is almost non-existent. (The doctor thought back pain was caused by cancer near my back.)
Thank you for your continued support and prayers! God is awesome!
This is how I make it: 2/3 cup organic cottage cheese; 6 Tbsp. flax seed oil--Blend this together with my immersion blender and let set 5 min. Then I add some berries and water; blend and drink.
This is really filling, so I don't really eat lunch, just a snack in the afternoon, dinner, and sometimes a snack before bed. The cottage cheese is the only dairy in my diet and according to my reading it loses its dairy properties when combined with the oil. Dr. Budwig used this, along with other things, to treat cancer patients for years.
The rest of my diet is mostly raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts. I have tried different things like;
I tried making a green smoothie with kale and other veggies one of the first days. My smoothie maker didn't blend it very well...and it was disgusting. Thick and ...uchk!! It made me gag...I drank it...but gagging. Later I read somewhere about making sure you don't use the stalks of the kale, so maybe that was why but...not going to do that one again.
I have juiced different things for a snack or just to drink. Carrot/Apple juice is really good. I even juiced kale, cucumber, and carrot and it was OK. But yesterday...mmmm!...I juiced oranges and added a little almond milk....it was delicious! Juicing the oranges makes the juice all frothy! Yummy!
I have also tried out a few raw vegan recipes so I don't have to eat salad every night. I made these cabbage rolls that were good and I will definitely have again. I also tried raw spaghetti (zucchini instead of noodles) that was OK. But I have definitely had a lot of salads. And I don't like raw collard greens...it is like trying to eat a houseplant! I have tried a couple of dressing recipes...but I don't really care for either of them. I need to find a good fake Ranch recipe.
I have also had some cooked meals. I had beans, cooked spinach, and last night I made some stew with lentils and cabbage.
I also just snack on nuts, veggies, or fruit whenever I am hungry. Last night I ate half an avocado.
I am looking forward to trying some new recipes for both my cooked and raw meals.
I am losing weight and really feeling much better. I don't have the upset stomach problems that I had with my old diet and my back pain, which was causing me quite a bit of pain two weeks ago, is almost non-existent. (The doctor thought back pain was caused by cancer near my back.)
Thank you for your continued support and prayers! God is awesome!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Formulating a New Plan
After the recent disappointment of the cancer still not responding to treatment...I am thinking "what gives? What do I need to be doing differently?" I actually even asked my LA doctor, "Do I need to do something different? Change my diet; eating habits?" She said no, but....I mean the chemo isn't working...it's not like a change could hurt right? A friend mentioned looking into the Paleo diet, and while I was I saw this link to the 31-day Home Cancer Cure. Well, I downloaded the book, can't hurt to just see what it says. When I updated my FB status and said I downloaded this book, suddenly other friends felt free to share their ideas with me. I was pointed to the Gerson therapy, the Primal Blueprint, eating for your blood type, and balancing your pH. So, after a lot of reading...
I have decided....you all are going to think I'm crazy....I am not going to do chemo at this time. I want to give my body a chance to breathe and to fight! Really fight; not lay tired and confused from the effects of chemo and a lifestyle of eating that wasn't helping; fight!
I will get more in-depth later, but for now here is a little bit of what I will be doing:
- Budwig Protocol- mixture of cottage cheese and flax seed oil
- Taking supplements
- Exercising at least 30 min a day ("they" recommend rebounding)
- Changing my diet; No sugar, processed food, dairy(besides the cottage cheese in Budwig), or gluten. I will basically be a vegan, at least for a few months. I will be aiming to eat about 80% raw, 20% cooked. I will be staying away also from meat and eggs at this time unless I am low on energy then I will add them for about 3 times a week and only good fish.
Other random things I am going to do/try:
- Testing my pH
- Deodorant without aluminum
- Toothpaste without fluoride
Well, that is about it I think. I know that this seems really weird...we have been taught that our doctors know best and that if you have cancer you get chemo and/or radiation. What if all you need is natural? I just really feel like this is the way God is leading me. I really felt like He didn't want me to do that last treatment, but I was unsure, so I did it...and the cancer kept growing.
I know that some of you probably think I am crazy, but please continue your prayers. Thank you!
I have decided....you all are going to think I'm crazy....I am not going to do chemo at this time. I want to give my body a chance to breathe and to fight! Really fight; not lay tired and confused from the effects of chemo and a lifestyle of eating that wasn't helping; fight!
I will get more in-depth later, but for now here is a little bit of what I will be doing:
- Budwig Protocol- mixture of cottage cheese and flax seed oil
- Taking supplements
- Exercising at least 30 min a day ("they" recommend rebounding)
- Changing my diet; No sugar, processed food, dairy(besides the cottage cheese in Budwig), or gluten. I will basically be a vegan, at least for a few months. I will be aiming to eat about 80% raw, 20% cooked. I will be staying away also from meat and eggs at this time unless I am low on energy then I will add them for about 3 times a week and only good fish.
Other random things I am going to do/try:
- Testing my pH
- Deodorant without aluminum
- Toothpaste without fluoride
Well, that is about it I think. I know that this seems really weird...we have been taught that our doctors know best and that if you have cancer you get chemo and/or radiation. What if all you need is natural? I just really feel like this is the way God is leading me. I really felt like He didn't want me to do that last treatment, but I was unsure, so I did it...and the cancer kept growing.
I know that some of you probably think I am crazy, but please continue your prayers. Thank you!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Results of 8/9 scan
I wish I had good news to share with you...but I don't. The cancer is still unresponsive to treatment, and still seems to be growing. The doctor called me yesterday afternoon and let me know the results and her suggested next plan of action. She suggested COAP, which is a combination therapy of cyclophosphamide, vincristine, arabinosylcytosine, and prednisone. She said she had already discussed it with my local oncologist. I am going to try to talk to him today to find out a little more information and see when he is planning on beginning treatment because I have an appointment with him on Thursday and want to know more before beginning.
If you pray...please continue your prayers for my family and I. They are very much appreciated.
If you pray...please continue your prayers for my family and I. They are very much appreciated.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Upcoming PET scan
Please pray for me and my upcoming PET scan. I fly to LA for the scan early Thursday morning (August 9th). I will get to go over the results with my doctor that afternoon.
I am feeling really anxious and to be honest, a little emotional. I know that it is in God's hands either way, but it is hard to not have anxiety over it.
So please pray for me....for healing and to not be anxious.
I am feeling really anxious and to be honest, a little emotional. I know that it is in God's hands either way, but it is hard to not have anxiety over it.
So please pray for me....for healing and to not be anxious.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Adcetris #2
I have and PET scan and follow-up appointment in UCLA on August 9. If the scan shows response to treatment they could either continue the adcetris to get more of a response or hopefully get a good enough response to finally begin the high dose chemo and transplant.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Doctor's Appointment
I had an appointment with my LV oncologist today. He spent quite a bit of time talking to me, explaining things, and trying to answer my questions. He also went over my PET scan results from the 14th. He didn't have the images, which I really wanted to see, but he tried to explain the written findings.
Questions and paraphrased answers
Are we sure that we are treating the right cancer?
We trust the findings of the pathologist. They are the ones that determine the biopsy results. All of the chemos that you have had this time Gemzar/Navelbine and the ICE treat a wide variety of cancers. We have basically been dropping bombs on you...the new treatment (Adcetris) is more targeted.
Why haven't the chemos been working? Why does my lymphoma look different this time? (Not sure if he exactly answered my second question but the answers related to each other.)
I can't tell you for sure why they aren't working. But a few cells probably survived the ABVD from your first time with cancer. Because they survived this effective chemo...they became stronger. When they came out of lying around dormant they starting growing the new lymphoma. It is stronger and more resistant to treatment.
What about treatment?
Brentuximab (Adcetris) was recently approved...I think just last year. I haven't had to give it to any of my patients because they have had results with their chemo and Hodgkin's isn't that common....and usually ABVD works for people the first time. It is a drug of the future. It targets the cancer cells specifically. The antibody that is attracted and attaches to the cancer cell is bonded with a chemo so the chemo goes right into the face of the cancer instead of floating around your whole body killing cancer cells along with good cells. When a new drug comes out it starts out being used for people with few other options and gradually gets used earlier and earlier in treatment. I had to talk with the head of your insurance because they weren't going to approve it...it was only supposed to be approved if you had failed remission after the stem cell transplant. I told the guy that he had a chance to make a difference in your life and he approved it. The goal is to get the cancer to respond to the treatment and then still send you on for the high dose chemo and transplant. We are going to give you two treatments and then send you back for another scan.
What about the side effects? PML?
The side effects are like most chemos...lower blood counts, nausea, tiredness, numbness in the hands or feet. There is nothing we can do for you to prevent or prepare for PML but it is a very rare side effect. And if it happens it would mean I'm dead. Well I wouldn't have said it quite like that. I'm not sure if there is a treatment for PML.
What about my port? If I'm not able to use it...I want it taken out.
I think that we can use it. I would like to have them access it today for your treatment if you are ok with it. Since your arm is no longer swollen it wouldn't appear that you still have a clot. I think that we should use it. Sometimes cancer patients blood gets thicker and is more likely to clot. We are going to keep you on the Lovenox shots rather than Coumadin because it is easier to regulate for someone like you...going through treatment ...and if your counts get low and you need to stop it...you can stop it immediately whereas Coumadin is still in your system for a few days.
The PET results
"new enlarged gastrohepatic, left paraortic and aortocaval lymph nodes, as well as mild uptake in a new left sub pectoralis node, as detailed above, suggestive of progression of malignant disease." This is all new growth since the PET scan from April 24th.
After speaking with the doctor I decided to go ahead with the treatment they had planned for me to have. They accessed my port fine and I received my premeds (anti-nausea and Benadryl) and my first dose of Adcetris. The whole infusion with premeds and Adcetris took about an hour...not very long at all. I am scheduled for my second treatment on July 17th.
Questions and paraphrased answers
Are we sure that we are treating the right cancer?
We trust the findings of the pathologist. They are the ones that determine the biopsy results. All of the chemos that you have had this time Gemzar/Navelbine and the ICE treat a wide variety of cancers. We have basically been dropping bombs on you...the new treatment (Adcetris) is more targeted.
Why haven't the chemos been working? Why does my lymphoma look different this time? (Not sure if he exactly answered my second question but the answers related to each other.)
I can't tell you for sure why they aren't working. But a few cells probably survived the ABVD from your first time with cancer. Because they survived this effective chemo...they became stronger. When they came out of lying around dormant they starting growing the new lymphoma. It is stronger and more resistant to treatment.
What about treatment?
Brentuximab (Adcetris) was recently approved...I think just last year. I haven't had to give it to any of my patients because they have had results with their chemo and Hodgkin's isn't that common....and usually ABVD works for people the first time. It is a drug of the future. It targets the cancer cells specifically. The antibody that is attracted and attaches to the cancer cell is bonded with a chemo so the chemo goes right into the face of the cancer instead of floating around your whole body killing cancer cells along with good cells. When a new drug comes out it starts out being used for people with few other options and gradually gets used earlier and earlier in treatment. I had to talk with the head of your insurance because they weren't going to approve it...it was only supposed to be approved if you had failed remission after the stem cell transplant. I told the guy that he had a chance to make a difference in your life and he approved it. The goal is to get the cancer to respond to the treatment and then still send you on for the high dose chemo and transplant. We are going to give you two treatments and then send you back for another scan.
What about the side effects? PML?
The side effects are like most chemos...lower blood counts, nausea, tiredness, numbness in the hands or feet. There is nothing we can do for you to prevent or prepare for PML but it is a very rare side effect. And if it happens it would mean I'm dead. Well I wouldn't have said it quite like that. I'm not sure if there is a treatment for PML.
What about my port? If I'm not able to use it...I want it taken out.
I think that we can use it. I would like to have them access it today for your treatment if you are ok with it. Since your arm is no longer swollen it wouldn't appear that you still have a clot. I think that we should use it. Sometimes cancer patients blood gets thicker and is more likely to clot. We are going to keep you on the Lovenox shots rather than Coumadin because it is easier to regulate for someone like you...going through treatment ...and if your counts get low and you need to stop it...you can stop it immediately whereas Coumadin is still in your system for a few days.
The PET results
"new enlarged gastrohepatic, left paraortic and aortocaval lymph nodes, as well as mild uptake in a new left sub pectoralis node, as detailed above, suggestive of progression of malignant disease." This is all new growth since the PET scan from April 24th.
After speaking with the doctor I decided to go ahead with the treatment they had planned for me to have. They accessed my port fine and I received my premeds (anti-nausea and Benadryl) and my first dose of Adcetris. The whole infusion with premeds and Adcetris took about an hour...not very long at all. I am scheduled for my second treatment on July 17th.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Adcetris® Lawsuit
This is a link to a lawsuit against Adcetris, the drug that the UCLA doctor recommended to be the next treatment. Although there have only been these three reported PML cases...I guess it may not be common, but PML sounds horrific. These are the things that patients have to deal with...what are the risks and side effects? Is it going to be worth it in the long run? Am I going to live...or is the treatment or the disease going to kill me?
Adcetris® PML Brain Infection Lawyer & Lawsuit | The Senators (Ret.) Firm, LLP
Adcetris® PML Brain Infection Lawyer & Lawsuit | The Senators (Ret.) Firm, LLP
Monday, June 18, 2012
New Plan???
So....I didn't get the news I was hoping for. It appears that there has either been no change in the cancer or that it is still growing...either way, it's not good. The UCLA doc said that our next option, what she would suggest, is starting the drug Adcetris. It is a new drug, just approved last year for the treatment of Hodgkin's. It isn't chemo; it is an antibody-drug conjugate. It sounds promising...I guess...but I would like to do a little more research on it.
It is just so frustrating!!! I don't understand how this cancer isn't dead...I don't feel bad at all. I feel fine...why is it still growing?? Neither the cancer nor the chemotherapy have made me feel very bad. I still feel, for the most part, healthy and strong. What is going on?
Part of me thinks that God is putting me through some test to see how strong my faith is. This part of me wants to stop treatment and just give it to God. I know that He alone has the power to cure me. Maybe He wants me to show that He can perform miracles where no one or nothing else can receive the credit. I don't want you to think that this means I am giving up the fight...that I don't want to live...because I'm not and I do!! I just feel like I have already tried the...medicine way...maybe it is time to try something else. Or maybe God wants me to use this new drug. Maybe this is part of His plan. I am a little confused right now. I don't want to just keep going along with what the doctors say just because they say it...Please pray for me to receive God's guidance.
It is just so frustrating!!! I don't understand how this cancer isn't dead...I don't feel bad at all. I feel fine...why is it still growing?? Neither the cancer nor the chemotherapy have made me feel very bad. I still feel, for the most part, healthy and strong. What is going on?
Part of me thinks that God is putting me through some test to see how strong my faith is. This part of me wants to stop treatment and just give it to God. I know that He alone has the power to cure me. Maybe He wants me to show that He can perform miracles where no one or nothing else can receive the credit. I don't want you to think that this means I am giving up the fight...that I don't want to live...because I'm not and I do!! I just feel like I have already tried the...medicine way...maybe it is time to try something else. Or maybe God wants me to use this new drug. Maybe this is part of His plan. I am a little confused right now. I don't want to just keep going along with what the doctors say just because they say it...Please pray for me to receive God's guidance.
Monday, June 11, 2012
What's Next?
I had another ICE chemo the last weekend in May. It went fine, and I did fine with it.
I am headed to LA again on June 14th. I will be having a PET scan that will hopefully show that this cancer is dead! After my doctor gets the results she will go over what the plan of action is going to be. If my scan is good then I could be going for the high dose chemo and transplant as early as the following week.
Although part of me really doesn't want to do it...I'm kind of dreading it...the other part of me can't wait to get it over with so I can get on with my life.
Please pray that the results of the PET scan are good and that I can go forward with the next phase of my treatment.
I am headed to LA again on June 14th. I will be having a PET scan that will hopefully show that this cancer is dead! After my doctor gets the results she will go over what the plan of action is going to be. If my scan is good then I could be going for the high dose chemo and transplant as early as the following week.
Although part of me really doesn't want to do it...I'm kind of dreading it...the other part of me can't wait to get it over with so I can get on with my life.
Please pray that the results of the PET scan are good and that I can go forward with the next phase of my treatment.
Going Bald
Since my hair had been making a mess all over the house I asked my husband to just shave what was left off. He wanted to make sure I really wanted to and that I wasn't just doing it to be crazy. :) So on May 19th or 20th, we did it. I wasn't sure how I would feel....but my sweet husband encouraged me and made me still feel attractive. He said, "Just look at yourself...it doesn't look bad at all...I kind of like it." And I looked in the mirror...and it wasn't that bad. My head actually isn't a bad shape but it sure is white. :) My husband was like, "Dang your head is white." But I have always, since I was a born, had hair on my head...of course it is white. I was kind of nervous on how the girls would react to it so I went down with a scarf on my head. My oldest wanted to know why I had that on my head so I told her that the rest of my hair was gone...Mama doesn't have hair anymore. She of course wanted to see...so I took of my scarf and showed her my head and told her, "Feel it, it feels funny". So, she rubbed my head and laughed, then the youngest followed her big sister and did the same. They handled it so much better than I could have hoped for.
I got some hats and scarves to cover my head, but after I had been bald for a few days, I just started leaving the coverings off at home. I feel much more comfortable without something on my head. Of course I put something on my head when I go out...and now I can't really walk around without people knowing something is wrong. When I had my hair still, no one could tell I was sick...without it...there is no denying it. I tried on my wig...and it just looked wrong...and the girls didn't like it. The oldest said, "What's that hair on you?" :) I recently had the bangs trimmed which helped a lot. It looks better and more natural now, but...it just isn't my hair. Maybe I am just not a wig person...
My husband said I should get a tattoo on my head and then when my hair grows back in...no one will even know it is there. I think that would be entirely too painful...and I really wouldn't want to spend money on a tattoo that would be covered up with my hair...that no one, not even I would be able to see. ;)
I must say there are some nice things about going bald... Showers are much faster and I don't have to spend time blow-drying my hair. I am much cooler outside in this summer heat. I can stand in a wind and there isn't any annoying hair blowing in my face. And the rest of my body too...my legs stay smooth for days after shaving whereas before it was only hours. I only shave my underarms maybe once a week instead of daily. Of course I would rather not have cancer, be going through chemo, and have lost my hair...but I might as well enjoy the benefits while I can.
The two top pictures are right before my husband shaved my head. (I should have put some makeup on..kind of scary picture.) And the bottom is my glamour bald shot. :) It is weird but these pictures capture how I felt...I felt more sick looking balding than bald.
I got some hats and scarves to cover my head, but after I had been bald for a few days, I just started leaving the coverings off at home. I feel much more comfortable without something on my head. Of course I put something on my head when I go out...and now I can't really walk around without people knowing something is wrong. When I had my hair still, no one could tell I was sick...without it...there is no denying it. I tried on my wig...and it just looked wrong...and the girls didn't like it. The oldest said, "What's that hair on you?" :) I recently had the bangs trimmed which helped a lot. It looks better and more natural now, but...it just isn't my hair. Maybe I am just not a wig person...
My husband said I should get a tattoo on my head and then when my hair grows back in...no one will even know it is there. I think that would be entirely too painful...and I really wouldn't want to spend money on a tattoo that would be covered up with my hair...that no one, not even I would be able to see. ;)
I must say there are some nice things about going bald... Showers are much faster and I don't have to spend time blow-drying my hair. I am much cooler outside in this summer heat. I can stand in a wind and there isn't any annoying hair blowing in my face. And the rest of my body too...my legs stay smooth for days after shaving whereas before it was only hours. I only shave my underarms maybe once a week instead of daily. Of course I would rather not have cancer, be going through chemo, and have lost my hair...but I might as well enjoy the benefits while I can.
The two top pictures are right before my husband shaved my head. (I should have put some makeup on..kind of scary picture.) And the bottom is my glamour bald shot. :) It is weird but these pictures capture how I felt...I felt more sick looking balding than bald.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Hair Loss....Boo! :(
Although I can't say I wasn't warned, I can't say that I was expecting it either....bye bye hair.
Sunday, May 6th, I got my hair cut in short chin length bob, with a stacked back. It looked really cute. I wanted to get something shorter, not only to be easier to manage, but also because I knew there was the possibility that my hair would be falling out soon. I had always heard that hair loss was a little easier with shorter hair...it is....I'm positive.
My hair started coming out Thursday, May 10th. There was hair constantly coming out...strands coming out every time I ran my fingers through it. The shower was even worse....handfuls of hair came out. The bathroom trashcan looked like it had a dead hamster in it after every shower. The hair loss became more and more noticeable. There is hair all over my house...on my pillow, all over my bathroom, on the recliner, all over the back of my shirt, in my food...very annoying. I can now see why people just go ahead and shave their heads. By Mother's Day, you could clearly see my scalp. I wore a baseball cap on our trip to the Secret Garden. I would definately feel uncomfortable being seen in public without something covering my head now. I can pretty much forget about it until I look in the mirror....I told my Mom that I look like Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings. Now that I have a few options for head coverings, and more on the way since we ordered some today, I am going to have my husband just shave my head. I know it will be hard to see the last of my hair gone, but the hair all over is really getting on my nerves.
I have two books that I got for the girls that talk about mom's losing their hair. We have read them and talked to my oldest about it. I think she still has questions and she seems more comfortable asking them when we read one of the books. I know that it will be strange for all of us, but it is just hair....it will grow back. I know I will be telling myself this quite a bit over the coming weeks or months. Hopefully it is a good sign....that my cancer will finally be killed...for good this time!!!
Sunday, May 6th, I got my hair cut in short chin length bob, with a stacked back. It looked really cute. I wanted to get something shorter, not only to be easier to manage, but also because I knew there was the possibility that my hair would be falling out soon. I had always heard that hair loss was a little easier with shorter hair...it is....I'm positive.
My hair started coming out Thursday, May 10th. There was hair constantly coming out...strands coming out every time I ran my fingers through it. The shower was even worse....handfuls of hair came out. The bathroom trashcan looked like it had a dead hamster in it after every shower. The hair loss became more and more noticeable. There is hair all over my house...on my pillow, all over my bathroom, on the recliner, all over the back of my shirt, in my food...very annoying. I can now see why people just go ahead and shave their heads. By Mother's Day, you could clearly see my scalp. I wore a baseball cap on our trip to the Secret Garden. I would definately feel uncomfortable being seen in public without something covering my head now. I can pretty much forget about it until I look in the mirror....I told my Mom that I look like Smeagol from the Lord of the Rings. Now that I have a few options for head coverings, and more on the way since we ordered some today, I am going to have my husband just shave my head. I know it will be hard to see the last of my hair gone, but the hair all over is really getting on my nerves.
I have two books that I got for the girls that talk about mom's losing their hair. We have read them and talked to my oldest about it. I think she still has questions and she seems more comfortable asking them when we read one of the books. I know that it will be strange for all of us, but it is just hair....it will grow back. I know I will be telling myself this quite a bit over the coming weeks or months. Hopefully it is a good sign....that my cancer will finally be killed...for good this time!!!
Ice Effects
Our computer hasn't been working so I'm a little behind...let me try to catch up.
Monday, May 7th, I went to the lab for blood tests, both a CBC and INR test at about noon. (INR is to test how fast my blood is clotting.) My doctor from the the Coumadin Clinic (Blood thinner medicine) called first. She let me know that my INR level was low so she wanted me to start back on the Lovenox shots to lower my risk of clotting. I still had some shots at home, so I had my husband give me a shot before he left for work. Then soon after, my oncologist called to let me know that my platelets were low and I needed to go to the ER for a platelet transfusion. I had to yell down for my husband to wait so he could drop me off at the ER on his way to work. We left at about 3:30pm. I didn't think it would take long; thought I would be home for dinner, so I rushed out the door and told the girls I would see them soon.
At the ER I was actually taken back fairly quickly, but once back there I waited quite a while. There was a tech and even a PA that stopped in to see how I was doing and let me know what was going on. However, I was waiting for a nurse to come in and draw blood etc...get the ball rolling. My blood wasn't drawn until after 6pm and they didn't start giving me the platelets until around 8pm. Then at about 10pm they were getting ready to release me and the PA came in and said they were going to admit me instead. He said that there had been a big drop in some of my counts between the noon and 6pm tests. He said that he was afraid there might be some internal bleeding, maybe in the GI tract. He also told me he had only seen numbers drop like that in someone that had blown up. (Yes he actually said that.) So...I found out I was going to have to stay, when I had been so excited to get to leave.
Once I was admitted, I began prepping for a scope of my GI tract. The prep included drinking a gallon of Go Lightly, (The name shows that someone had a sense of humor.) and many trips to the bathroom all night long. The next morning, after meeting the entire staff of the hospital (almost anyway), I also received a red blood transfusion and was told I did the GI prep for nothing, they didn't want to scope after all. I could tell that the doctors were not happy with my blood counts but I kept telling everyone I saw that I felt fine and I was ready to go home. Finally, they decided to release me and I arrived home about 7pm; 24 hours later than expected.
Monday, May 7th, I went to the lab for blood tests, both a CBC and INR test at about noon. (INR is to test how fast my blood is clotting.) My doctor from the the Coumadin Clinic (Blood thinner medicine) called first. She let me know that my INR level was low so she wanted me to start back on the Lovenox shots to lower my risk of clotting. I still had some shots at home, so I had my husband give me a shot before he left for work. Then soon after, my oncologist called to let me know that my platelets were low and I needed to go to the ER for a platelet transfusion. I had to yell down for my husband to wait so he could drop me off at the ER on his way to work. We left at about 3:30pm. I didn't think it would take long; thought I would be home for dinner, so I rushed out the door and told the girls I would see them soon.
At the ER I was actually taken back fairly quickly, but once back there I waited quite a while. There was a tech and even a PA that stopped in to see how I was doing and let me know what was going on. However, I was waiting for a nurse to come in and draw blood etc...get the ball rolling. My blood wasn't drawn until after 6pm and they didn't start giving me the platelets until around 8pm. Then at about 10pm they were getting ready to release me and the PA came in and said they were going to admit me instead. He said that there had been a big drop in some of my counts between the noon and 6pm tests. He said that he was afraid there might be some internal bleeding, maybe in the GI tract. He also told me he had only seen numbers drop like that in someone that had blown up. (Yes he actually said that.) So...I found out I was going to have to stay, when I had been so excited to get to leave.
Once I was admitted, I began prepping for a scope of my GI tract. The prep included drinking a gallon of Go Lightly, (The name shows that someone had a sense of humor.) and many trips to the bathroom all night long. The next morning, after meeting the entire staff of the hospital (almost anyway), I also received a red blood transfusion and was told I did the GI prep for nothing, they didn't want to scope after all. I could tell that the doctors were not happy with my blood counts but I kept telling everyone I saw that I felt fine and I was ready to go home. Finally, they decided to release me and I arrived home about 7pm; 24 hours later than expected.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Transplant: Postponed Until Further Notice
My husband and I flew into LA the evening of April 22 and got to our hotel to settle in for the PET scan and stem cell harvest the next day.
The PET scan went smoothly...then I was off to be harvested. I got to the hemapheresis unit at about 12:30 and by 1pm, they had me hooked up. They put in two IVs, one took the blood out and the other brought the blood (minus my stem cells) back in. I just had to sit there, relatively still for about 3 hours while my blood went through this machine that separated out my stem cells. When it was over they took out the IVs and taped on some ice packs. They had me verify my name etc. on a bag of what looked like watery blood, which I later found out was my stem cells. We were told they probably wouldn't have the count, to know if I had to harvest again, until the next day.
The next morning my transplant coordinator called to let us know that harvesting was done. They collected more than enough in one day! They needed 2 million and I gave them over 5 million. I was glad I didn't have to sit there again...mainly just because it was boring and I got tired of not getting to move. The coordinator let me know that a doctor, not my normal UCLA doc because she was on vacation, wanted to meet with me to go over the PET scan results. The meeting was going to happen at 12:30, and we didn't have our flight out until the next day so we decided we would go to the beach after speaking with the doctor. Then...
At the doctor's office the doctor bluntly explained that the scan showed new growth...Ugh! He said he felt bad meeting me that way but...he wanted me to get a round of ICE chemo right away. He asked why my doctors had been giving me the Gemzar/Navelbine chemo and called it an "old lady" chemo. Well,....I don't know why. I just remember hearing something about them preferring to use that over another round with ABVD(my first chemo combination). I think mainly because ABVD can be hard on your heart. So...I got checked into the room and they put me on IV hydration. I assumed they would try to get started early the next day, but I didn't get my PICC line until almost noon and didn't get my first chemo, Etoposide, until 8pm. I don't really like waiting around. Then the next day they tell me that I will be checking out the following day. To which we respond, "How? I've only had 1 day of chemo and I still need two more." That days chemo wasn't scheduled to begin until 8pm. So they figured things out and started my chemo early. I received 1 hour infusions of Etoposide and Carboplatin and then got started on my 24 hour infusion of Ifosfamide. The Ifosfamide one kind of scared me because it came in a glass bottle instead of the regular IV bags and it was the one with the side effects to watch for...but I didn't have any bad side effects. My infusion of Ifosfamide was set to be finished at about 5pm so my nurse ran my last infusion of Etoposide along with it, so they would finish close to the same time. Then I was able to be discharged and go back to the hotel with my husband. My main instruction was to drink a lot of water. I did drink almost a gallon of water in a 24 hour period. Our flight home wasn't until the following evening so...
The next day, we went to the beach. We rode a bus down to the Santa Monica Pier, had lunch, and a nice little walk on the beach. The water was freezing! It was a lot of fun...and of course we had to get presents for the girls! Then we were off on a bus back to the hotel to pick up our luggage and then having to rush to make it to the shuttle back to the airport. We made it...and we were so happy to be home! We missed the girls so much!
I met with my new LV doctor today. Although he isn't sure...he thinks that I will be doing another treatment with ICE before I get another PET scan. Then, hopefully the transplant will be back on track. Die Cancer Die!!!
The PET scan went smoothly...then I was off to be harvested. I got to the hemapheresis unit at about 12:30 and by 1pm, they had me hooked up. They put in two IVs, one took the blood out and the other brought the blood (minus my stem cells) back in. I just had to sit there, relatively still for about 3 hours while my blood went through this machine that separated out my stem cells. When it was over they took out the IVs and taped on some ice packs. They had me verify my name etc. on a bag of what looked like watery blood, which I later found out was my stem cells. We were told they probably wouldn't have the count, to know if I had to harvest again, until the next day.
The next morning my transplant coordinator called to let us know that harvesting was done. They collected more than enough in one day! They needed 2 million and I gave them over 5 million. I was glad I didn't have to sit there again...mainly just because it was boring and I got tired of not getting to move. The coordinator let me know that a doctor, not my normal UCLA doc because she was on vacation, wanted to meet with me to go over the PET scan results. The meeting was going to happen at 12:30, and we didn't have our flight out until the next day so we decided we would go to the beach after speaking with the doctor. Then...
At the doctor's office the doctor bluntly explained that the scan showed new growth...Ugh! He said he felt bad meeting me that way but...he wanted me to get a round of ICE chemo right away. He asked why my doctors had been giving me the Gemzar/Navelbine chemo and called it an "old lady" chemo. Well,....I don't know why. I just remember hearing something about them preferring to use that over another round with ABVD(my first chemo combination). I think mainly because ABVD can be hard on your heart. So...I got checked into the room and they put me on IV hydration. I assumed they would try to get started early the next day, but I didn't get my PICC line until almost noon and didn't get my first chemo, Etoposide, until 8pm. I don't really like waiting around. Then the next day they tell me that I will be checking out the following day. To which we respond, "How? I've only had 1 day of chemo and I still need two more." That days chemo wasn't scheduled to begin until 8pm. So they figured things out and started my chemo early. I received 1 hour infusions of Etoposide and Carboplatin and then got started on my 24 hour infusion of Ifosfamide. The Ifosfamide one kind of scared me because it came in a glass bottle instead of the regular IV bags and it was the one with the side effects to watch for...but I didn't have any bad side effects. My infusion of Ifosfamide was set to be finished at about 5pm so my nurse ran my last infusion of Etoposide along with it, so they would finish close to the same time. Then I was able to be discharged and go back to the hotel with my husband. My main instruction was to drink a lot of water. I did drink almost a gallon of water in a 24 hour period. Our flight home wasn't until the following evening so...
The next day, we went to the beach. We rode a bus down to the Santa Monica Pier, had lunch, and a nice little walk on the beach. The water was freezing! It was a lot of fun...and of course we had to get presents for the girls! Then we were off on a bus back to the hotel to pick up our luggage and then having to rush to make it to the shuttle back to the airport. We made it...and we were so happy to be home! We missed the girls so much!
I met with my new LV doctor today. Although he isn't sure...he thinks that I will be doing another treatment with ICE before I get another PET scan. Then, hopefully the transplant will be back on track. Die Cancer Die!!!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Getting Closer....
I had a blood test on Thursday and my INR was 2.6 so I got to stop taking the Lovenox shots!! Yay! Now I am only taking the Neupogen. Based on my blood test, the Neupogen is doing its job and I should be more than ready for the stem cell collection. They actually said I could forgo the blood test on Monday and begin stem cell harvest on Monday after my PET scan. I am hoping that they will get enough stem cells in one day but at least in only two.
Since my last chemo I hadn't been feeling as good. I was a little more...just sickly feeling. However, since I got to stop taking the Lovenox I have felt better. I have no idea if there is really a connection but...at least I feel better know. There is some bone pain and stiffness due to the Neupogen, but not too bad.
Thursday, my parents got here! My dad is just staying a few days but he drove my mom up here so that she can stay and help us for quite a while probably. She will be here taking care of the girls while I am in the hospital and then come help me in LA when I get out of the hospital. At that time, my mother in law will come and help take of the girls. I am so thankful that they are both willing and able to come help us out. Now that the parents are here....it is getting more real...it is getting close. Yikes!
Since my last chemo I hadn't been feeling as good. I was a little more...just sickly feeling. However, since I got to stop taking the Lovenox I have felt better. I have no idea if there is really a connection but...at least I feel better know. There is some bone pain and stiffness due to the Neupogen, but not too bad.
Thursday, my parents got here! My dad is just staying a few days but he drove my mom up here so that she can stay and help us for quite a while probably. She will be here taking care of the girls while I am in the hospital and then come help me in LA when I get out of the hospital. At that time, my mother in law will come and help take of the girls. I am so thankful that they are both willing and able to come help us out. Now that the parents are here....it is getting more real...it is getting close. Yikes!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Last chemo...
Well, today was the last chemo of the Gemzar and Navelbine that I will receive. I never really thought that it would be bittersweet to end chemo but it really was. I was hoping that my INR level would be high enough so that I could stop the Lovenox shots, but unfortunately it wasn't. So, since I start my Neupogen injections tomorrow and still have to take my Lovenox, I will be getting 4 shots a day, 2 of each. And my poor husband has to give them all to me since I'm a chicken. :) My stomach is running out of places to poke so he might have to use my thighs and upper arms. I am getting my INR tested again on Thursday...please let it be high enough!!
Yesterday my husband and I flew to LA to meet with the doctor and transplant coordinator. It was a very long day. We flew out at 8:30am and got to UCLA earlier than needed. We just sat around waiting for the coordinator to meet with us. Before she came over to meet with us she called and asked me if I would be able to squeeze in a PET scan while I was there. I knew that I wouldn't have time with our return flight being at 5:30 so I called the airline to see how much they would charge to switch to a later flight. When they said, "No charge" I went ahead and changed our flights to 7:45. Later, after we had been talking with her for awhile we found out that I wouldn't be able to get the PET scan anyway because one of their machines was down...we changed our tickets for nothing. I also found out that they won't be able to use my port for my high dose chemo/SCT. They need something called a double lumen so I will have to have something temporary inserted for my stay there. So that means....I didn't need this port! The Gemzar/Navelbine could have just gone in an IV, it gave me another scar and it most likely caused my blood clot...and I didn't even need it... :( Oh well...it's already done.
Yesterday my husband and I flew to LA to meet with the doctor and transplant coordinator. It was a very long day. We flew out at 8:30am and got to UCLA earlier than needed. We just sat around waiting for the coordinator to meet with us. Before she came over to meet with us she called and asked me if I would be able to squeeze in a PET scan while I was there. I knew that I wouldn't have time with our return flight being at 5:30 so I called the airline to see how much they would charge to switch to a later flight. When they said, "No charge" I went ahead and changed our flights to 7:45. Later, after we had been talking with her for awhile we found out that I wouldn't be able to get the PET scan anyway because one of their machines was down...we changed our tickets for nothing. I also found out that they won't be able to use my port for my high dose chemo/SCT. They need something called a double lumen so I will have to have something temporary inserted for my stay there. So that means....I didn't need this port! The Gemzar/Navelbine could have just gone in an IV, it gave me another scar and it most likely caused my blood clot...and I didn't even need it... :( Oh well...it's already done.
Shots, Shots....
I was thinking about all the shots I am going to be taking and it made me think of this audition....lol.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Transplant is a Go!....AHHH!
Well, I got the call....the transplant is approved! My transplant coordinator gave me a tentative schedule which could change depending on how smoothly (or not) things go. So, here it is...for now anyway.
Thursday, April 12th- Husband and I fly to LA to sign paperwork and meet with transplant doctor.
Friday, April 13th- Have my normal chemo at the VA.
Saturday, April 14th-Tuesday, April 24th- Take Neupogen injections to increase white blood cells and stem cells.
Monday, April 23rd- Be in LA for blood test
Tuesday, April 24- possibly April 27- Stem cell harvesting (hopefully they will get as many as they need sooner, but said to plan to stay until Friday)
Wednesday, May 2nd- Admitted into the hospital to begin high dose chemo with transplant.
Wednesday, May 23rd- Hopefully released from the hospital but still have to stay in LA area
Wednesday, June 6th- Hopefully allowed to return home (Alexa turns 2 on the 7th. I hope I am home for her birthday.)
These are just estimates. Some of it depends on how well my body recovers. AHHH!!! It is almost here!!
Thursday, April 12th- Husband and I fly to LA to sign paperwork and meet with transplant doctor.
Friday, April 13th- Have my normal chemo at the VA.
Saturday, April 14th-Tuesday, April 24th- Take Neupogen injections to increase white blood cells and stem cells.
Monday, April 23rd- Be in LA for blood test
Tuesday, April 24- possibly April 27- Stem cell harvesting (hopefully they will get as many as they need sooner, but said to plan to stay until Friday)
Wednesday, May 2nd- Admitted into the hospital to begin high dose chemo with transplant.
Wednesday, May 23rd- Hopefully released from the hospital but still have to stay in LA area
Wednesday, June 6th- Hopefully allowed to return home (Alexa turns 2 on the 7th. I hope I am home for her birthday.)
These are just estimates. Some of it depends on how well my body recovers. AHHH!!! It is almost here!!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
So...it is a clot...???
I spent Monday making phone calls to make sure that my doctors were aware of my ER visit...I didn't want to get looked over...I wanted to make sure someone was going to do something. I left I message with my Las Vegas oncologist, then I even left a message for my UCLA oncologist and emailed my UCLA transplant coordinator. My UCLA oncologist called me, I was amazed...and she let me know that her fear was that if the mass was putting pressure on the vein, then it was growing. She said she had spoken to LV oncologist and he was looking into it. And I sent her office a copy of the CT scan just in case. Then my LV oncologist's office called to schedule my appointment for the morning of Wednesday the 4th.
Since my ER visit my body and emotions have been through many changes. Over the weekend the swelling started moving into my neck and underarm area as well, creating some extra soreness and sensitive spots. This of course freaked me out. I wasn't sure if I should go back to the ER...I ended up just staying home and trying to rest it and still keep it elevated. My arm is keeping a good color most of the time. The veins in my chest and upper left arm are more visible. It is still swollen and sore but doesn't seems to be bothering me quite as much. Maybe I have just adjusted to it.
This morning I went to my appointment with the oncologist. He said that he had the radiologist compare Friday's scan to my scan from October and that the mass in my chest had shrunk, not grown. (YAY!) He said the radiologist description on Friday didn't make much sense because if the mass was pressing on that vein, the Superior Vena Cava, my whole upper body would be swollen, not just one side. He said looking at me, one swollen arm and the veins being more noticeable made him believe it was a clot. He said that they could do a dye study to see how the blood was flowing but he wanted to start me on medication right away. Then he sent me to see a surgeon that he consulted with. The surgeon explained a little more to me about the blood flow, where my port is positioned, and where they think the clot is. They think the clot is...kind of...behind my collarbone. He said this is a difficult area to see with the ultrasound and even the CT scan. He also told me he could move my port...no thanks, I don't want any more surgeries. He told me things he could do and basically said he hopes he doesn't have to; that hopefully the problem will be solved.
So, now I have a blood clot and I am having to take two shots of Lovenox in my stomach everyday until my other medication, Coumadin, builds up in my system. I have to go to a Coumadin clinic Friday to have my levels check in case they need to adjust them. So...hopefully this will take away the clot and swelling. :)
Since my ER visit my body and emotions have been through many changes. Over the weekend the swelling started moving into my neck and underarm area as well, creating some extra soreness and sensitive spots. This of course freaked me out. I wasn't sure if I should go back to the ER...I ended up just staying home and trying to rest it and still keep it elevated. My arm is keeping a good color most of the time. The veins in my chest and upper left arm are more visible. It is still swollen and sore but doesn't seems to be bothering me quite as much. Maybe I have just adjusted to it.
This morning I went to my appointment with the oncologist. He said that he had the radiologist compare Friday's scan to my scan from October and that the mass in my chest had shrunk, not grown. (YAY!) He said the radiologist description on Friday didn't make much sense because if the mass was pressing on that vein, the Superior Vena Cava, my whole upper body would be swollen, not just one side. He said looking at me, one swollen arm and the veins being more noticeable made him believe it was a clot. He said that they could do a dye study to see how the blood was flowing but he wanted to start me on medication right away. Then he sent me to see a surgeon that he consulted with. The surgeon explained a little more to me about the blood flow, where my port is positioned, and where they think the clot is. They think the clot is...kind of...behind my collarbone. He said this is a difficult area to see with the ultrasound and even the CT scan. He also told me he could move my port...no thanks, I don't want any more surgeries. He told me things he could do and basically said he hopes he doesn't have to; that hopefully the problem will be solved.
So, now I have a blood clot and I am having to take two shots of Lovenox in my stomach everyday until my other medication, Coumadin, builds up in my system. I have to go to a Coumadin clinic Friday to have my levels check in case they need to adjust them. So...hopefully this will take away the clot and swelling. :)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Chemo then ER
Friday...was not a fun day, actually I'm still not having fun. I went to chemo with some shoulder pain when I got home the pain seemed to have lessened, but my left arm felt a little tingly. I got up to go to the bathroom and my arm suddenly felt so tight. I looked at my arms next to each other and the left was swollen and discolored-- kind of purplish. I kind of freaked out--had a little panic attack. I called the nurse at the VA to see if she thought it was serious enough to go to ER, which she did. I told my husband that he needed to take me and he was going to have to miss work and stay home with the girls. I was trying to remain calm but I kept thinking, "I have a blood clot, please let them find it before I die." I know...dramatic...but I'm sure you would have been scared too. They took me back pretty quickly and did an ultrasound to check for clots, which they didn't find. I was glad but then I wanted to know what was happening. They sent me for a CT scan, and after waiting for quite awhile the doctor gave me the findings. The doctor who read the scan said that the mass in my chest is pressing down on a vein or artery (I forgot which) which is causing the swelling in my arm. He released me with pain killers, a sling, and told me to keep my arm elevated as much as possible. I have been keeping my arm elevated, if not it quickly tightens with the swelling and becomes uncomfortable. Now however my neck and area around my arm are also starting to swell and make me uncomfortable. I'm afraid I might have to make another trip to the ER but I hope not. I am trying to relax....
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Having Fun
Well I have had two chemos since my last entry...hopefully Friday will be my last of this chemo, but I'm still not sure....
I did something unusual for me on St. Patrick's Day...I went out...had a girls night. It was so fun! We ate at the Hard Rock and went to see the Jabawokeez. Then we even went down to Fremont Street for a little while...I think everyone there was wearing green.. I even saw a guy with a green tutu on his head. :) Now I just need to go on a date with my husband. :)
Last week I felt better than I have felt in a really long time. I felt like I had more energy and I was so happy I could breathe again after that bronchitis. The only "bad" thing that happened was I had a rash that started on my chest, then spread to my arms and legs. It wasn't a bad rash...just a little annoying. I let the doctor know about and look at it on Friday at chemo. He said it looked very mild and to continue using topical cream and take Benadryl if needed. It is actually one of the side effects of one of my chemos. I thought it was kind of weird to show up now but...
I have my dental exam scheduled for the 3rd, so hopefully after the transplant team and the insurance get that information the transplant can be approved. I am pretty sure that I will be getting another PET scan soon; probably after my next chemo. They will want to make sure that my cancer is still shrinking (hopefully gone) so that the high dose chemo and transplant can move forward.
I try not to think about it...but it makes me so anxious. I'm not sure why...I wish I had a little better understanding of how I will feel...my limitations etc. This is something that is hard to research because peoples' bodies respond differently.... I guess it is time to start writing those questions down again and asking my transplant coordinator and/or doctor. I hate that I will be away from my husband and little girls for that length of time but I'm not sure I would want them to see me that way either...I don't like being seen as sick or weak... And I get pretty grumpy when I don't feel good... I'm just going to miss them so much!!
I did something unusual for me on St. Patrick's Day...I went out...had a girls night. It was so fun! We ate at the Hard Rock and went to see the Jabawokeez. Then we even went down to Fremont Street for a little while...I think everyone there was wearing green.. I even saw a guy with a green tutu on his head. :) Now I just need to go on a date with my husband. :)
Last week I felt better than I have felt in a really long time. I felt like I had more energy and I was so happy I could breathe again after that bronchitis. The only "bad" thing that happened was I had a rash that started on my chest, then spread to my arms and legs. It wasn't a bad rash...just a little annoying. I let the doctor know about and look at it on Friday at chemo. He said it looked very mild and to continue using topical cream and take Benadryl if needed. It is actually one of the side effects of one of my chemos. I thought it was kind of weird to show up now but...
I have my dental exam scheduled for the 3rd, so hopefully after the transplant team and the insurance get that information the transplant can be approved. I am pretty sure that I will be getting another PET scan soon; probably after my next chemo. They will want to make sure that my cancer is still shrinking (hopefully gone) so that the high dose chemo and transplant can move forward.
I try not to think about it...but it makes me so anxious. I'm not sure why...I wish I had a little better understanding of how I will feel...my limitations etc. This is something that is hard to research because peoples' bodies respond differently.... I guess it is time to start writing those questions down again and asking my transplant coordinator and/or doctor. I hate that I will be away from my husband and little girls for that length of time but I'm not sure I would want them to see me that way either...I don't like being seen as sick or weak... And I get pretty grumpy when I don't feel good... I'm just going to miss them so much!!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Bronchitis
Well since my oncologist and no one from his "office" got back to me I did end up calling and getting an appointment with my primary care doctor Thursday. He said he thought I had bronchitis and gave me an antibiotic, an inhaler, and cough suppressant to use if necessary. My fever finally went away, which I think made a big improvement on how I felt. My coughing became more controlled and productive...overall I feel so much better.
After I came home with my diagnosis I again tried to get ahold of my oncologist because I didn't really think that I would be up for chemo on Friday...or that they would want me to go. I called the VA and left a message, then tried calling the oncology office at the base hospital but for some reason neither of my calls made it to the right department. Since it seemed like my oncologists assistant wasn't passing on my messages anyway I decided to try another way. I called my case manager and let her know the situation and just asked if she could send him an email. She asked me to hold to see if she could get ahold of him and then transferred me to him...I was amazed! I had been trying to talk to him for over a week. But he said that we would postpone chemo and our appointment until next week and he would let everyone know. Thank you!
After I came home with my diagnosis I again tried to get ahold of my oncologist because I didn't really think that I would be up for chemo on Friday...or that they would want me to go. I called the VA and left a message, then tried calling the oncology office at the base hospital but for some reason neither of my calls made it to the right department. Since it seemed like my oncologists assistant wasn't passing on my messages anyway I decided to try another way. I called my case manager and let her know the situation and just asked if she could send him an email. She asked me to hold to see if she could get ahold of him and then transferred me to him...I was amazed! I had been trying to talk to him for over a week. But he said that we would postpone chemo and our appointment until next week and he would let everyone know. Thank you!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Fevered LA Trip 2
Since my last post I got to get a massage...it was so nice. She worked out the tension in the left shoulder, which not only helped with my pain but also my anxiety over it. I have still had a temperature...at least once or twice I thought that it had gone away. Sunday I was thinking that maybe I should go to the ER because I've had a temperature a long time and probably have some sort of infection, but decided to wait until after I came back from my Monday appointments in LA. I called my doctor's office again this morning. I actually got to talk to a person and she said she would contact the doctor to see what I should do. They had never returned my phone call from last week which the lady today said she had not heard. So I am waiting for instructions again. If I don't hear from her by noon I'm going to do something else...maybe try my primary doctor.
My trip to LA went smoothly. My flight left at about 6:30 and we landed early, I think about 7:15. I met a couple visiting from Australia while I was waiting for the shuttle. They were very nice and made me want to go visit Australia with their descriptions of it. I caught the 8:00 shuttle and made it to campus about 9. I got my chest x-ray out of the way first then went to the lab where they took....many tubes of blood. Good thing my hands were cold...I put them on my forehead. :) One of the tubes they had to put in a bag of ice...I forgot to ask why, but I thought that was kind of weird. Then I got an EKG, which was surprisingly painless and fast. I really didn't know what to expect. I went to my 11:30 Pulmonary appointment and got there before 11 but they took me back right away. At first the technician was going to have me sit in a little glass box, but after looking at my face said we could use a different machine. Thank goodness I have an expressive face! :) I HATED these tests. They are horrible...."take a deep breath" "blow, blow, blow"....I think I did poorly. The first test I had to repeat after taking puffs of Albuterol. Finally the breathing torture was through and I could move on. I was done about noon and my next appointment was at 1, which I decided to just wait for and then eat afterward. I got called back for my echo which was done in 15 minutes. The screen looked a little different than the other ones I have seen, and he did measurements which reminded me of my ultrasounds with the girls...I missed them. Then I went and ate and was able to get on the 2:00 shuttle back to LAX but my flight wasn't until 6:05. I asked if I could get on an earlier flight, which they said I could, but it would cost an additional $150 ... no thanks! So, I just waited and bought the girls each a present. There was enough daylight left during takeoff that I got to see the ocean when we were flying over it...Yikes! ;) I was so happy to be home and hug my family. Adrian had made dinner and it was yummy. It was nice to be home after a long day!
My trip to LA went smoothly. My flight left at about 6:30 and we landed early, I think about 7:15. I met a couple visiting from Australia while I was waiting for the shuttle. They were very nice and made me want to go visit Australia with their descriptions of it. I caught the 8:00 shuttle and made it to campus about 9. I got my chest x-ray out of the way first then went to the lab where they took....many tubes of blood. Good thing my hands were cold...I put them on my forehead. :) One of the tubes they had to put in a bag of ice...I forgot to ask why, but I thought that was kind of weird. Then I got an EKG, which was surprisingly painless and fast. I really didn't know what to expect. I went to my 11:30 Pulmonary appointment and got there before 11 but they took me back right away. At first the technician was going to have me sit in a little glass box, but after looking at my face said we could use a different machine. Thank goodness I have an expressive face! :) I HATED these tests. They are horrible...."take a deep breath" "blow, blow, blow"....I think I did poorly. The first test I had to repeat after taking puffs of Albuterol. Finally the breathing torture was through and I could move on. I was done about noon and my next appointment was at 1, which I decided to just wait for and then eat afterward. I got called back for my echo which was done in 15 minutes. The screen looked a little different than the other ones I have seen, and he did measurements which reminded me of my ultrasounds with the girls...I missed them. Then I went and ate and was able to get on the 2:00 shuttle back to LAX but my flight wasn't until 6:05. I asked if I could get on an earlier flight, which they said I could, but it would cost an additional $150 ... no thanks! So, I just waited and bought the girls each a present. There was enough daylight left during takeoff that I got to see the ocean when we were flying over it...Yikes! ;) I was so happy to be home and hug my family. Adrian had made dinner and it was yummy. It was nice to be home after a long day!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thrombosis??
People should probably not be allowed to google their symptoms when they are feeling nervous about them. Since Friday afternoon I have had pain in my left shoulder and my port has felt very sensitive. Yesterday I discovered that I have a low grade fever, which I still have. And today my hands and arms just don't feel quite right...they feel weak...tingly maybe...kind of hard to explain. So, I googled my symptoms and it brought up thrombosis, which is a blood clot restricting the flow of blood. Apparently they are common in people with ports... I put in a call to the doctor and hopefully they will get back to me soon...I am really trying not to overreact.
Monday, February 27, 2012
3rd Cycle Done!
I haven't written in a while...I guess everything kind of becomes a routine and I don't want to bore the people who actually read this. :) I go to chemo and come home.
Friday was the last chemo of my third cycle. I have this Friday off and on Monday, the 5th, I am off to LA again. I will be doing pulmonary testing along with another echo cardiogram, an EKG, a chest x-ray, and a lot of labs. My coordinator said they would take about 8 tubes for different blood testing that they will do. I hope I don't pass out. :) This should take care of all my pre-testing. The only other thing that I need to do is get an oral exam from a dentist to ensure that my mouth is healthy. After I pass all these tests I will get approved for the stem cell transplant.
The closer I get to the transplant, the more anxious I become. I just want to hurry up and get it over with. I hope that my body is strong and does well with the chemo and transplant. I hope that I don't have to stay in UCLA for any longer than I have to. I need to start thinking of how I am going to handle things when I get home. I know my Mom is going to stay with me for a while but she can't stay forever...and my husband is most likely going to deploy in June. I am going to need help with cleaning and get someone to come clean out the cat box for sure. I am hoping that I won't need any more help than that but I don't know yet.
On another note, my oncologist said that it is OK for me to get a massage so I am getting one on Friday. I can hardly wait. I really need it. Something is wrong with my left shoulder...maybe a pinched nerve or maybe just a really bad crick in the neck. It is kind of irritating my port tubing and freaking me out a little bit.
Friday was the last chemo of my third cycle. I have this Friday off and on Monday, the 5th, I am off to LA again. I will be doing pulmonary testing along with another echo cardiogram, an EKG, a chest x-ray, and a lot of labs. My coordinator said they would take about 8 tubes for different blood testing that they will do. I hope I don't pass out. :) This should take care of all my pre-testing. The only other thing that I need to do is get an oral exam from a dentist to ensure that my mouth is healthy. After I pass all these tests I will get approved for the stem cell transplant.
The closer I get to the transplant, the more anxious I become. I just want to hurry up and get it over with. I hope that my body is strong and does well with the chemo and transplant. I hope that I don't have to stay in UCLA for any longer than I have to. I need to start thinking of how I am going to handle things when I get home. I know my Mom is going to stay with me for a while but she can't stay forever...and my husband is most likely going to deploy in June. I am going to need help with cleaning and get someone to come clean out the cat box for sure. I am hoping that I won't need any more help than that but I don't know yet.
On another note, my oncologist said that it is OK for me to get a massage so I am getting one on Friday. I can hardly wait. I really need it. Something is wrong with my left shoulder...maybe a pinched nerve or maybe just a really bad crick in the neck. It is kind of irritating my port tubing and freaking me out a little bit.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Stress
Today I had an appointment to get my very first massage...a sweet Valentine's gift from my husband. I let them know that I was going through chemo and the massage therapist called to see if she could give me a massage...turns out she will need permission from my oncologist. I was so bummed out...I had been looking forward to it and definately need it...my shoulders are so tense.
Being unable to get a massage for some reason brought on a small "Poor me pitty Party". I had a little cry...luckily not in front of the therapist...then I got mad at myself for crying. I told myself, "Stop being a crybaby...it's not even a big deal." I think I may be even more stressed out than I thought.
Being unable to get a massage for some reason brought on a small "Poor me pitty Party". I had a little cry...luckily not in front of the therapist...then I got mad at myself for crying. I told myself, "Stop being a crybaby...it's not even a big deal." I think I may be even more stressed out than I thought.
Friday, February 10, 2012
PET scan update
I went to see my oncologist on Wednesday and he was able to tell me the results, or atleast approximations, of my most recent PET scan. He said that the smallest spot was no longer there and that the other two, the ones near my lung and heart had shrunk about 30-40%. I was glad to hear this because I knew that if there hadn't been progress then they would want to switch my chemo drugs and I rather like the ones that I am on now....as much as you can "like" your chemo. The infusion of chemo is quick compared to how long it was the first time with the ABVD. And my body handles it well, with very few side effects.
Today I started my 3rd cycle of chemo. I'm still not sure, but I think I will end up completing 4 cycles.
I now have two transplant coodinators...one from UCLA and one from my insurance. I received my packet of information from UCLA yesterday. I haven't read it word for word...just skimmed, but one thing that I read stuck out. This is from a copy of the autologous transplant consent form:
Because of the risks associated the the procedure, the chance of six-month
survival may be greater without stem cell transplantation. However, it is hoped that
the chances for long-term survival will be greater with stem cell transplantation.
I sure hope the long-term is the part that applies to me. I stumbled on a support group online talking about their experiences with stem cell transplant...and they seemed positive...like it was a cure.
Today I started my 3rd cycle of chemo. I'm still not sure, but I think I will end up completing 4 cycles.
I now have two transplant coodinators...one from UCLA and one from my insurance. I received my packet of information from UCLA yesterday. I haven't read it word for word...just skimmed, but one thing that I read stuck out. This is from a copy of the autologous transplant consent form:
Because of the risks associated the the procedure, the chance of six-month
survival may be greater without stem cell transplantation. However, it is hoped that
the chances for long-term survival will be greater with stem cell transplantation.
I sure hope the long-term is the part that applies to me. I stumbled on a support group online talking about their experiences with stem cell transplant...and they seemed positive...like it was a cure.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
LA Trip 1
Yesterday morning I flew to LA. I had never been to LA....so, I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect. I think I was afraid that I would get mugged or something... I was able to find my way pretty good...and I took a shuttle and a taxi...first time in a taxi.
I got a PET scan and will hopefully hear the results from that pretty soon. Hopefully it will show that the chemo is working. If this chemo isn't doing its job, they will want to try something else... They would like to see the disease shrink as small as possible before the high dose chemo...the smaller the better my chances to remain cancer free.
I will have to return to LA for my stem cells to be harvested...still not sure when exactly but the doctor said it will be when my blood counts have recovered after chemo. My bone marrow will have to be checked again before the harvesting to make sure that the cancer hasn't moved into my marrow. As long as my marrow is clean, the stem cells will be harvested from my blood. This process may be able to be done in one day, but will probably take a day or two. They will take out blood, spin it to remove the stem cells and give me back the rest of my blood. After this...I will be able to do the high dose chemo at any time.
The high dose chemo will be about a week of different chemos given, rest one day, and then injecting the stem cells on the next day. She said my body will be fighting and I will probably be in the hospital for a few weeks...and I will be getting blood. I will lose my hair and my fertility. boo! :( I will be on a diet of all cooked foods. After my blood counts are high enough, and probably pretty stable, they will release me from the hospital, but I will have to remain in the area, with someone looking after me, for another week or two.
Not really looking forward to being away from my family for that long...but I want to have this cancer gone for good and that is my best chance....
I got a PET scan and will hopefully hear the results from that pretty soon. Hopefully it will show that the chemo is working. If this chemo isn't doing its job, they will want to try something else... They would like to see the disease shrink as small as possible before the high dose chemo...the smaller the better my chances to remain cancer free.
I will have to return to LA for my stem cells to be harvested...still not sure when exactly but the doctor said it will be when my blood counts have recovered after chemo. My bone marrow will have to be checked again before the harvesting to make sure that the cancer hasn't moved into my marrow. As long as my marrow is clean, the stem cells will be harvested from my blood. This process may be able to be done in one day, but will probably take a day or two. They will take out blood, spin it to remove the stem cells and give me back the rest of my blood. After this...I will be able to do the high dose chemo at any time.
The high dose chemo will be about a week of different chemos given, rest one day, and then injecting the stem cells on the next day. She said my body will be fighting and I will probably be in the hospital for a few weeks...and I will be getting blood. I will lose my hair and my fertility. boo! :( I will be on a diet of all cooked foods. After my blood counts are high enough, and probably pretty stable, they will release me from the hospital, but I will have to remain in the area, with someone looking after me, for another week or two.
Not really looking forward to being away from my family for that long...but I want to have this cancer gone for good and that is my best chance....
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Cycle Two, Almost Through
Tomorrow will be my last chemo of my second cycle. It will be nice to have a week off...then on to cycle 3. I think...
Yesterday I actually gave myself my Neupogen shot...and I didn't pass out. :) I was sitting down just in case...ha ha...I'm such a wieny!
I finally have all the details of my appointment and travel plans for Monday's trip to UCLA. I went ahead and bought the plane tickets yesterday because I didn't want the cost to go up anymore than it already had. It went from $34 one-way to $60 while I was waiting for some answers. I got an early flight because I thought they would schedule the PET scan in the morning but.... Today I finally got a call and they scheduled the scan for 1:45 and told me to go to the appointment with the doctor as soon as I am through with the scan. My doctor's appointment was originally scheduled for 2pm and now I probably won't be at the office until about 4pm. Hopefully my flight out is late enough...it should be...I hope.
I am planning or hoping that this doctor will answer my questions...I need to start writing them down....
How and when will the stem cells be harvested?
What chemos will be involved in the high dose chemo?
How long will I have to be in the hospital?
Will I really lose my hair with the high-dose chemo?
Will the h-d chemo really make me infertile?
What are the additional risks/side effects that come with this treatment?
I'm sure I'll think of at least a few more to add to the list...
Yesterday I actually gave myself my Neupogen shot...and I didn't pass out. :) I was sitting down just in case...ha ha...I'm such a wieny!
I finally have all the details of my appointment and travel plans for Monday's trip to UCLA. I went ahead and bought the plane tickets yesterday because I didn't want the cost to go up anymore than it already had. It went from $34 one-way to $60 while I was waiting for some answers. I got an early flight because I thought they would schedule the PET scan in the morning but.... Today I finally got a call and they scheduled the scan for 1:45 and told me to go to the appointment with the doctor as soon as I am through with the scan. My doctor's appointment was originally scheduled for 2pm and now I probably won't be at the office until about 4pm. Hopefully my flight out is late enough...it should be...I hope.
I am planning or hoping that this doctor will answer my questions...I need to start writing them down....
How and when will the stem cells be harvested?
What chemos will be involved in the high dose chemo?
How long will I have to be in the hospital?
Will I really lose my hair with the high-dose chemo?
Will the h-d chemo really make me infertile?
What are the additional risks/side effects that come with this treatment?
I'm sure I'll think of at least a few more to add to the list...
Sunday, January 22, 2012
5 down...??? to go
It is kind of strange to be going through treatment and still not really know how much longer I have with this chemo or when I will start the high dose chemo. Hopefully most of these questions will be answered when I see the UCLA doctor on the 30th. Now I not only have an appointment to meet the doctor, but they also want me to have a PET scan there the same day. I was trying to make travel plans, but since I don't have a time for the scan yet I haven't been able to do that. Hopefully I will know tomorrow so that I can get my plane tickets. I decided that it would be easier for me to fly to LA on my own than trying to drive by myself or trying to take the whole family, I think it will be easier and faster to just fly alone.
Today is my least favorite day in my week of chemo treatment....I usually feel fine, great even, the day of chemo and fine the next day. But today...it is the day when I feel the most...yuck! I don't even really know how to explain it...nauseous, tired, just...not good. I know this is still much better than what other people going through chemo experience...And my hair seems to have started to thin just a bit...just feeling some loose hairs on me. I wish I had the bald Barbie...If you haven't already joined the movement on Facebook or signed the petition to Mattel, look into it. I think the bald Barbie could do a lot of good.
Today is my least favorite day in my week of chemo treatment....I usually feel fine, great even, the day of chemo and fine the next day. But today...it is the day when I feel the most...yuck! I don't even really know how to explain it...nauseous, tired, just...not good. I know this is still much better than what other people going through chemo experience...And my hair seems to have started to thin just a bit...just feeling some loose hairs on me. I wish I had the bald Barbie...If you haven't already joined the movement on Facebook or signed the petition to Mattel, look into it. I think the bald Barbie could do a lot of good.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Why me?
While I know that I didn't do anything to "deserve" getting cancer...I can't help but wonder sometimes...why me? What made me get cancer? And not just once, but twice? What am I doing wrong? Does something make me more susceptible?
Hodgkin's Lymphoma typically occurs in people between the ages of 15-40...I was 25 the first time and 29 the second time. It is more common in males...well, I'm a female and I still got it. A family history? No. Infectious mononucleosis? Well, I did have mono when I was 15. Did that really increase my chances of getting this cancer? It often occurs in same sex siblings. My sister had mono and she didn't get my cancer. (Thank you Jesus!) What made me....weaker?
Was it because I drank some alcohol? I've never been too crazy with that, but I have had my moments. Was it because I was a smoker? I smoked about a pack a day for about 6 years. Did that help lower my immune system?
I sometimes think that I must have gotten cancer (the first time) when I was teaching elementary at Dimmitt schools. That was a horrible year for me. I had a 45 minute commute one-way, and went from New Mexico time to Texas time. I was depressed and lonely. I ate terribly...and smoked a lot. I felt like a complete failure. That year made me hate teaching...I don't think I will ever go back to it. That is when I feel like my body was weak...that cancer snuck in....but, that is just my theory. It probably happened later....
Hodgkin's Lymphoma typically occurs in people between the ages of 15-40...I was 25 the first time and 29 the second time. It is more common in males...well, I'm a female and I still got it. A family history? No. Infectious mononucleosis? Well, I did have mono when I was 15. Did that really increase my chances of getting this cancer? It often occurs in same sex siblings. My sister had mono and she didn't get my cancer. (Thank you Jesus!) What made me....weaker?
Was it because I drank some alcohol? I've never been too crazy with that, but I have had my moments. Was it because I was a smoker? I smoked about a pack a day for about 6 years. Did that help lower my immune system?
I sometimes think that I must have gotten cancer (the first time) when I was teaching elementary at Dimmitt schools. That was a horrible year for me. I had a 45 minute commute one-way, and went from New Mexico time to Texas time. I was depressed and lonely. I ate terribly...and smoked a lot. I felt like a complete failure. That year made me hate teaching...I don't think I will ever go back to it. That is when I feel like my body was weak...that cancer snuck in....but, that is just my theory. It probably happened later....
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Second Round, Second Cycle---Take two
I drove to have my chemo on Thursday and to my surprise found that my treatment day had been moved to Friday...so now I will be getting chemo on Fridays. I didn't so much mind that the day had been changed...I just wish I would have known about it before making the almost hour round trip to the VA clinic and back home. Oh, well....
So, I went back on Friday, had my labs drawn, talked with my oncologist and had my chemo. My labs all looked really good. The doctor asked about side effects...if I was noticing any hair loss, etc. I told him that I hadn't noticed any hair loss, which I didn't really expect too since I didn't lose my hair with the ABVD treatment from the first time. The only side effect continues to be the numbness in my fingers and toes...more so my fingers. I asked if the second part of my treatment, the high dose chemo, will cause me to lose my hair, which he said he thought it would...not permanently of course...but...boo!! I still have a wig that my brother and sister-in-law bought for my the first time I had cancer. I am thinking about getting my hair cut the same style as the wig early, so maybe it won't be as big of a shock for the girls. I asked again about how long I would have to be at UCLA for the treatment...he said 2-4 weeks depending on whether or not there are any complications like infection. I can't imagine being away from my family that long. I have never been away from my girls for more than a few hours....what am I going to do? What are they going to do?
I have an appointment scheduled to meet with the UCLA doctor on the 30th of this month. Hopefully she will be able to give me more in-depth information and expectations for treatment and recovery...I just want to be through with this.....and never have to hear "You have cancer" again....
So, I went back on Friday, had my labs drawn, talked with my oncologist and had my chemo. My labs all looked really good. The doctor asked about side effects...if I was noticing any hair loss, etc. I told him that I hadn't noticed any hair loss, which I didn't really expect too since I didn't lose my hair with the ABVD treatment from the first time. The only side effect continues to be the numbness in my fingers and toes...more so my fingers. I asked if the second part of my treatment, the high dose chemo, will cause me to lose my hair, which he said he thought it would...not permanently of course...but...boo!! I still have a wig that my brother and sister-in-law bought for my the first time I had cancer. I am thinking about getting my hair cut the same style as the wig early, so maybe it won't be as big of a shock for the girls. I asked again about how long I would have to be at UCLA for the treatment...he said 2-4 weeks depending on whether or not there are any complications like infection. I can't imagine being away from my family that long. I have never been away from my girls for more than a few hours....what am I going to do? What are they going to do?
I have an appointment scheduled to meet with the UCLA doctor on the 30th of this month. Hopefully she will be able to give me more in-depth information and expectations for treatment and recovery...I just want to be through with this.....and never have to hear "You have cancer" again....
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I did end up having some minor complications from my low potassium level. My right arm felt like it was asleep and weak until I got some potassium in me...scary stuff.
My third chemo went well and I was done early. We ended up leaving to drive back home for a visit after my treatment. It is a 12 hour drive that we split into two days so that it won't be as hard on the girls. Our first night there the youngest started throwing up and within the next day or two, we all threw up and had the stomach bug. This might sound horrible, but for a little while I was more worried about me getting sick than about my daughter throwing up. I just didn't know what the result of me getting sick with my lowered blood levels would be. Luckily, I got over it quickly. Well we all did, except for my youngest daughter. She threw up a few more times throughout the week, so we took her to the clinic and they prescribed an antibiotic. Now we are home and happy to be...it's always nice to get home.
Tomorrow I will begin my second cycle of chemo...
My third chemo went well and I was done early. We ended up leaving to drive back home for a visit after my treatment. It is a 12 hour drive that we split into two days so that it won't be as hard on the girls. Our first night there the youngest started throwing up and within the next day or two, we all threw up and had the stomach bug. This might sound horrible, but for a little while I was more worried about me getting sick than about my daughter throwing up. I just didn't know what the result of me getting sick with my lowered blood levels would be. Luckily, I got over it quickly. Well we all did, except for my youngest daughter. She threw up a few more times throughout the week, so we took her to the clinic and they prescribed an antibiotic. Now we are home and happy to be...it's always nice to get home.
Tomorrow I will begin my second cycle of chemo...
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