So....I didn't get the news I was hoping for. It appears that there has either been no change in the cancer or that it is still growing...either way, it's not good. The UCLA doc said that our next option, what she would suggest, is starting the drug Adcetris. It is a new drug, just approved last year for the treatment of Hodgkin's. It isn't chemo; it is an antibody-drug conjugate. It sounds promising...I guess...but I would like to do a little more research on it.
It is just so frustrating!!! I don't understand how this cancer isn't dead...I don't feel bad at all. I feel fine...why is it still growing?? Neither the cancer nor the chemotherapy have made me feel very bad. I still feel, for the most part, healthy and strong. What is going on?
Part of me thinks that God is putting me through some test to see how strong my faith is. This part of me wants to stop treatment and just give it to God. I know that He alone has the power to cure me. Maybe He wants me to show that He can perform miracles where no one or nothing else can receive the credit. I don't want you to think that this means I am giving up the fight...that I don't want to live...because I'm not and I do!! I just feel like I have already tried the...medicine way...maybe it is time to try something else. Or maybe God wants me to use this new drug. Maybe this is part of His plan. I am a little confused right now. I don't want to just keep going along with what the doctors say just because they say it...Please pray for me to receive God's guidance.
My preacher just preached a sermon in church Sunday about why God puts us through trials and how it strengthens our faith. I wish you could have been there to hear it. I think it would have brought you a lot of peace and comfort.
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